Relationship Talk: Is the Other Woman Sometimes Needed?

By Mgcini Nyoni Via romancemeetslife.com

A friend of mine – a female friend, one day told a stunned group of colleagues that the ‘small house’ (a married man’s girlfriend), actually strengthens marriages, contrary to popular belief that ‘small houses’ are home wreckers. She gave three reasons for her conclusions:

One: If a good man cheats, he compensates for his bad deed by treating his wife extremely well; a descending wife will realise that this is the time to put in all the requests and they will all be fulfilled. A lot of people will question why I am saying, if a good man cheats when almost everyone is agreed that a man who cheats on his wife is a bad man: The definition of a good man goes beyond whether he cheats or not and in most cases whether he cheats or not does not even factor into his qualification of good or bad.

The cheating moments in a man’s life provides a stimulus that is needed to bring excitement and happiness to a marriage that had reached a boring patch. It is however important to note that the ‘cheating moment’ magic only works in the hands of ‘good men’; men who know that the wife always comes first and who make it clear to the small house that she will always be second best. Take a deep breath and read again; the theory is not as crazy as you think.

Two: The small house teaches a married man how to love his wife and children. How is that so? In a bid to impress her man, the small house will make sure that he knows that she takes his family as seriously as he does by remembering birthdays, anniversaries and the occasional surprise chocolates and flowers: The majority of presents that go to the wife are chosen by small houses masquerading as secretaries, personal assistants...and the straight up small houses.
A small house who understands her position as the small house will make sure that she reminds ‘her man’ that it is time to go home to the wife. Some even go to the extent of making sure school fees for the children is paid and that the man does not waste money on useless things before the family has been provided for. But again, this theory only works if the small house is in the hands of a good man. 

Three: The small house does not carry the burdens of womanhood that the wife carries and usually has several sources of income that keep her reasonably ‘happy’. Because of this, the small is in a position to give ‘good sex’ and knows how to ‘listen’ to the man’s problems and issues. When he goes back to his wife, he is a refreshed man does who not bite her head off for the slightest ‘mistake’.

The small house does not conform to the wifely burden of pretending to be a virgin whilst the likes of Mai Gunguwo are telling her that she should be a ‘prostitute’ for her husband. The small house will experiment with sexy clothing and dabble in all sorts of eroticism that will refresh the man and make him ready to face his wife with a smile.

The three theories expounded above in trying to paint small houses with a bit of white have a lot of loopholes. One the biggest loopholes is that the small house will never fully accept that she is second best and she will always have dreams of replacing the wife. But we have to appreciate that the issue of small houses is very complex and in some cases, small houses have brought happiness to marriages.''


Mgcini Nyoni is a writer, author and poet as well as the founder and creative director of Poetry Bulawayo. He blogs atThoughts and Confessions

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