THE DIARY: DOMESTIC VIOLENCE SURVIVOR SPEAKS OUT....1

 

I saw on Facebook, this heart wrenching self told story of a woman who almost died in an abusive marriage, and decided to share with y'all, maybe anyone on here is going through such horrible experiences, or maybe you know someone going through such, i want to tell you that please and please, for the sake of your life and sanity, get out of that abusive relationship now, while you are still alive. the writer of this story could write all she passed through, because she got out alive...

The story is a very long one, and therefore i will be sharing it in 7 episodes. please read, and share with every woman and man you know, you might be encouraging a victim, and you might not even know it.
Also drop your comments, if you know anyone going through such, so we can get help for them.
thank you.

Enjoy reading Ms Kay's domestic violence diary............


Welcome to the life of abuse that I lived.... Welcome to THE DIARY.

Read.... And learn. And feel free to ask questions. Who knows someone out there may be going through this.

Today I choose to come out... I choose to come out of that cupboard today. I have been a single mother of 4 girls since 2005.... I have lived a life of pretense.... I have worn my mask of "married" for 8 years and today.... I am taking that mask off..... I'm tired of pretending. ...... I'm tired of alluding to a 'Mr.' that no longer exists... A 'Mr.' that has gone his own way and has not looked at my side...As in... You know... NO Sex for more than 10 years... So today I become who I am.... Who God made I'm a being a lovely... Bubbly.... Beautiful mum, girl, babe... That just wants to live life...To the full.

I’m tired of stigmas... And Nigeria is full of "us". We married but single ladies. Who pretend that our husbands are "busy" making money.  Oh... Some say... Oh.... He's Busy at meetings... He is at Abuja... He is in London etc.... But we are all in the same boat... We are single and pretending ...we are even worse than those lesbians and gays..... At least they look the part... We ... Ish.... We look sound walk and talk married... WE ARE NOT...

BETWEEN, LET ME TELL U A STORY...


I know of a couple. No... Well, yes a couple. The only time the husband made love to her was anytime they needed to procreate.... Meaning, your guess...they made love maybe once in 18 months. Or as soon as HE feels it's time for baby No 6... And when he has had enough that was it... No sex, No love, nothing... And every time they go out as a couple and you know.... I used to envy them... I used to think Mrs. A had the best marriage in the world... until... One day... She lost it... Why????

Let's get to another statistic .Me...My story.... Even as I type, I'm shame personified... I mean ... How I, a very intelligent lovable lady endured a marriage for 18 years with hard labour.... How I submitted, submitted and submitted till I lost all my identity.... How I was constantly slapped, flogged, belted, abused and thrown out.... Beaten black and blue for 18 years and I still stayed and judiciously wore my mask of MARRIED ...EVERYDAY, beats even me myself.. I think I developed a dual personality... Outside to the public I'm the vibrant joyous happy head in the sky Kemi special... But inside, U know what I mean I'm the fearful, dull unintelligent, stupid...useless...incompetent mother/witch... Who can only speak when spoken to... And even then I needed to be sure an answer was REALLY NEEDED. Otherwise, It will result into slap and blows.

Outside ... I'm the entrepreneur fearless, daring bold owner of a big privately owned company. It's even laughable that outside some men say they are intimidated by me.... As in ME? EMI.... WHO Is that person? I remember at some point I dragged myself... Paid oh... to see a shrink... Of course I couldn't do that in Nigeria... Big babe like me paying to see a shrink... That's Yaba left. So I anonymously (now you see why I need to come out), dragged myself to see one in London... On the day I finally got to go for the appointment...i could leave the house due to fear and shame... How do I explain that I'm constantly beaten and treated like an incompetent 5 year old... I'm sure the shrink too would probably think so... I mean I really do get to do stupid things....

Can you imagine one time when he dragged me to the bed naked and started a series of slaps. And stupid me... Didn't keep my mouth shut I kept on fighting back and in defense I bite him on the wrist and didn't let go until my teeth fell out.... Stupid me, that's it. Only an ODE (stupid person) would do that. A wise woman....As pastor bimbo would say would have just SUBMITTED...submit you fool...Now you lost your teeth...Witch...And at that point I calmly got off the bed...


Watch out for the next post on this woman's diary.